With This Wish (Windswept Bay Book 9) Page 9

  “Uncle Trent.” Kevin giggled, grinning at her. “I like Lilly. Do you?”

  Trent looked at her and his expression turned serious. “Yeah, I like her a lot, Kevin.” His gaze locked onto hers.

  Butterflies churned in her stomach as she took a deep breath. Jake reached down, picked Kevin up in his arms and threw him over his shoulder. “Let’s go, kiddo. It’s dinnertime. We’ll catch you two in a few minutes.” He shot them a grin and then jogged away with the giggling kid dangling over his shoulder.

  Trent smiled at her. “He’s a great kid,” he said, and then his tone softened. “So how are you doing?”

  “I’m doing okay. Your family is great.”

  “Yes, they are. But I know this is hard on you. Are you making it okay?”

  “I am. I never wanted you to think your family was what worried me in a bad way. It’s exactly the opposite. I’m worried I could get attached to your family, BJ’s new family. I’m not sure.”

  It was the truth and she didn’t know any other way to put it.

  Trent hurt for Lilly. She had no idea how stricken she looked.

  She cleared her throat and her lip trembled and he ached for her. “I’m not sure I could ever open my heart to another family I’m terrified of losing again.”

  Trent couldn’t help himself; he cupped her chin with his hand and gently ran his thumb across her soft cheek. “I know. I figured that out. I’ve had the same issues. We talked about this a little. I lost Erica and I’ve never thought I could deserve, or want to love someone again. But mostly I’ve never thought I could let myself love someone again and then lose them. I feel exactly the way you do. Loving someone is to lay our heart bare, to open it up not just to the promise of love but also to the threat of loss. Love and loss go hand-in-hand. We both know that.”

  She nodded, hearing his words and knowing he was hitting at the core of her trouble.

  “Lilly, you lost your parents. You lived in the horror of that moment when you lost them. You couldn’t get to them, you couldn’t help them and you had to lay there and know that. It’s hard to get over.”

  “Is that how it feels for you too?”

  “It is in many ways. I would have gladly taken those bullets for Erica if I had been there. She took the hit on purpose. And I live every day knowing what I wasn’t there for her and it kills me. But you know what I figured out because of you? Lilly, she did that because of the person she was. She was brave and strong and gave her all for her country and her fellow team members and she made that split second choice. But I wanted her to live and she would have wanted me to live because she loved me. But I haven’t been able to, not fully. Since meeting you, for the first time I actually want to live fully again—no strings attached. I’m not telling you this to scare you or to make you uncomfortable. I’m just trying to get across to you that your situation has opened my eyes and I can tell you that Erica—I know her heart and she would want me to move forward and not waste the gift she sacrificed for me and everyone else that day when she gave her life.” He paused taking it all in.

  “She would have,” Lilly said softly.

  He willed her to see the truth. “Your parents would want the same for you. They would not have wanted it the other way, for you to have died and them to have lived. Not if it had to be one way or the other. How do I know that? Because you were their child. And to know you is to love you. And so I’m hoping that you’ll relax and just let yourself live again. Loss is natural, tragedy is not, but you have to pick up after it. You have to move forward, for all those involved. That’s how I feel about it…now. Now that I see clearly with my heart. Let’s just go in and enjoy the meal, if not for yourself, then for BJ. And then I’ll take you back home and you can relax and write—because writing is your comfort zone. And you can just ease into this new life. And if you can’t embrace everything, just embrace what you can. But I hope you won’t run away from everything.”

  He let his thumb softly trace across her cheek one last time and then he dropped his hand. He didn’t want to pressure her or to scare her any more than the words he had spoken might have already. And he could tell by the look on her face that she was uncertain, but he thought maybe she was also thinking.

  He wanted more, but there was no way he was going to pressure Lilly.

  “Thank you,” she said softly. “Please don’t fall for me. I can’t promise you anything. And the last thing I want to do is to hurt you. I’m drawn to you, Trent. There’s no way I can deny that. But I am damaged. Broken in so many ways.”

  “One day at a time.”

  She swallowed hard and looked away for a brief moment before she met his gaze once more. “But I’ll keep taking one day at a time. So let’s do this.”

  He smiled. “That’s the woman I know.” He stood and held out his hand to her. She slipped hers into his and he tugged her to her feet. Every fiber of his being wanted to pull her to him, to kiss her sweet, soft lips and to hold her close. But he couldn’t crowd her. Not with all she was dealing with.

  For now, he would just be here for her.

  Chapter Eleven

  Lilly stared at her computer screen, rubbed her eyes and then typed “The End.” She was done. Her eyes hurt and were scratchy, and she needed eye drops. She needed coffee but she needed sleep more.

  Leaning back in her chair and stretching, she glanced at the clock and date on her phone and then shook her head. It had been five days since Trent’s parents’ party. She’d been upset when she’d arrived home but held it in.

  It had been a very hard evening for her. Trent had been so understanding, so very gentle. And his thoughts had been so clear when he’d taken her hand and led her from the beach back inside to join the dinner. She’d forced herself to relax—no, not really: she had relaxed.

  It was just hard to admit that she’d enjoyed herself.

  The fact that she’d relaxed completely amazed her. The food was great and she really enjoyed spending time with everyone. Though she felt guilty for having had a good time.

  She tried to push the guilt aside and told herself this was normal. She had to move on with her life.

  But first she would get some sleep. She headed into her bedroom, crawled into bed and closed her eyes.

  By the morning of the sixth day after the party, Trent was having to force himself to work. Since dropping her off after the party, he hadn’t seen her and it was all he could do to keep from banging her door down. He was loading his truck and about to head up the hill when BJ called.

  “Have you seen her yet?” BJ’s voice was harsh, irritated. It sounded exactly how Trent felt. BJ had called nearly every morning and Trent had talked him into not going and bothering Lilly. This morning, he said the same thing he had said every morning.

  “I haven’t seen her, BJ. But she needs time. Your sister is dealing with a lot. More than you can imagine. She’s one strong woman, though.”

  BJ was silent on the other end of the phone. “Olivia said Lilly watched every move the family made like a hungry person. I’m worried about her.”

  “Just be patient. Give her a little more time. She made some progress at the party. It can’t happen overnight.”

  “I get that. I want Lilly as part of my life.”

  “Then don’t you run her away. Don’t run her off.”

  “Okay. But if she’s in that house and she’s hurt and she needs help—”

  “She’s a healthy person. And she’s not going to hurt herself. She’s trying to finish her book. And I’m convinced she needs to write. Have you read one of her books since learning her pen name?”

  “No, I haven’t. Olivia read one and said it was good.”

  “They are. They’re about love. But her stories are also about community. She has a community in her stories. And family in her stories. Do you hear what I’m telling you, BJ? She’s created what she’s missing in her books. She goes to her books for what she needs. Family, love, nurturing, healing. I think she came here, knowing it w
as time to move forward and she will. You just need to give her a few more days.”

  “Okay. A couple more days and then I’m coming over there.”

  “I hear you.” Trent hung the phone up after BJ said goodbye. He stood there on the drive for a moment, looking up the hillside. And then he got in his truck and went to the coffee shop.

  By the time Lilly woke up, it was seven a.m. on the sixth day after the party. She stretched and then jumped in the shower and dressed for the day. She felt energized as she jogged down the path to see what kind of progress Trent had made while she was pounding the keys of her computer. She almost tripped over her feet in surprise when she saw the treehouse was completely built on the exterior. Even her upper floor had walls. The man and his team of one, Jacob, had been pounding boards almost faster than she’d been typing. It was amazing.

  And it was beautiful. She jogged up the first flight of steps and then jogged down the walkway and up the next flight. Then jogged to the next flight and walked up the final flight so that she could step out onto her deck. Her heart thundered with excitement as she turned and looked down at the ground and the undisturbed forest around her. His design just fit into the trees as a part of its surroundings. She crossed to the doorway that didn’t yet have a door and she entered. Of course, the interior wasn’t finished but still the bones were there and she laughed with delight and awe. The stairs to the upper floor were there and she hurried across and made her way up them. She was delighted when she realized she could step into the room. The view was everything she’d dreamed it would be. Nothing but topaz and shades of teal blue as far as she could see.

  “What do you think?” Trent called, drawing her attention down to where he stood on the first landing of the walkway. He grinned up at her.

  “I love it!”

  “Good. You look great up there. And I’m glad to finally see your smiling face.”

  “You are amazing. You and Jacob have worked your magic in an amazing and speedy way. How did you do this?”

  “The outside goes up fast if nothing is being changed.” He smiled. “Since you weren’t around, there was nothing to change.”

  “But nothing needed to be. I love this. I can’t wait to see what it looks like when you are finished.”

  “Hang on, I’ll be right back. I need to grab something.” He jogged down the steps and down the path. In minutes, he returned, carrying a paper coffee cup. “I bought you this in the hopes that I might see you today. I was starting to have a real fight on my hands not to come and bang your door down.”

  “So you’re saying I came outside just in the nick of time.”

  “Oh yeah. Do you know how many times I’ve had to talk your brother out of coming and doing just that? He’s been worried about you.”

  He disappeared inside the house and she lost sight of him. She was grateful that he hadn’t come and disturbed her. She’d needed the time. But now she wasn’t sure what she needed. Except that cup of coffee he carried.

  And maybe a little Trent time.

  Okay, so she’d had several moments when she’d had to stop herself from thinking about him. Trent had gotten to her and now she just had to figure out what to do about it.

  “Hey.” His head appeared above the landing and then he joined her. He grinned and handed her the coffee. Their fingers brushed and she immediately felt light-headed and light-kneed. Goodness, this was ridiculous. She was not ready for this.

  “Thank you for this. You know, I was dying for this for five days. Well, not technically for five since I’ve been asleep for about fifteen hours. But for a good four days, I wanted this.” She’d also wanted him but she didn’t dare say that. It was too scary to even contemplate.

  And yet she knew it with all of her heart.

  She savored her first sips of coffee. “Thank you. This is just what I needed. And it’s only appropriate that I have my first cup of coffee in my treehouse with you.” She raised her cup to him. “Cheers to you and what you’ve done here.”

  “It’s been fun. Did you finish your book?”

  “I did. And I think it’s one of my best. My readers are going to like it, I believe. It’s fun and romantic.”

  “Great.”

  “I’m going to see the sea turtles today. If Shar is available. And tomorrow I’m going to see Kelsey at the stables. I’m taking time off to check out my surroundings. I’m also having lunch at the resort with your sisters one day. But now that you have all this done, is it time to start picking out counters and interior styles?”

  “It is. Go do your outings and maybe on Thursday we can head to the suppliers and you can start picking out what the interior will look like.”

  “I can’t wait!”

  “Good for you. Would you want to take a ride on the motorcycle tonight?”

  “That would be fun.”

  “I’ll come by about seven?”

  “Sounds like a plan.”

  And then she jogged down the stairs and headed to her cabin and her truck. Excitement bubbled inside her. She’d known she had to put distance between them. But she hadn’t been able to deny herself the motorcycle ride with Trent.

  That evening, Lilly was ready when Trent rode up on his Knucklehead. She’d had a wonderful day. “Have you been there?” she asked him. “It is amazing. They rescue so many sea turtles and save them from all kinds of issues.”

  “I’ve been there. They do great work.”

  She hopped on the back of the motorcycle, strapped on her helmet and then wrapped her arms around Trent. They rode along the winding coast road and it felt good to feel the late afternoon sun on her skin. There were a lot of windsurfers on the water in the bay. They stopped for ice cream and then moved to a picnic table and watched the action.

  “You seem more relaxed.” Trent sat down beside her on the bench. He dipped his spoon into his butter pecan double dip.

  “I’m getting there. I thought it was going to be so hard to start letting myself get involved but it’s easier than I thought. Part of it is because I’m just loving it here so much. And the words have never come easier. And that was a shock to me.”

  “Why is that?”

  “I’m not sure.” She was trying to concentrate on the surfers and the conversation but her attention was on Trent. It had been three weeks since they’d met. She couldn’t very well tell him that the hero of her last book had turned into a likeness of him and that had helped solve part of her process…the character had almost written himself after she had become inspired by Trent.

  She dug into her strawberry ice cream and concentrated on the sweetness of it, forcing herself not to stare at Trent and wonder things she wasn’t ready to wonder.

  But she was still wondering an hour later when he dropped her off at her house. He walked her to her door like he always did and her heart clanged like cymbals when they stopped on the porch. She unlocked her door and when she turned, he was standing close to her. She inhaled the scent of him and fought the urge to wrap her arms around his neck.

  “Lilly.” He said her name softly and pushed her hair behind one ear. She thought for certain he was going to kiss her. Butterflies waltzed in her chest as his gaze settled on her lips but then he blinked and stepped back. “I better go. We have a busy day tomorrow.”

  He strode off the porch and she watched, stunned. “Are you running from me?” she asked, suddenly not in control of her voice, it seemed.

  “Afraid?” He turned toward her.

  “Yes.” She quirked a brow at him and asked herself whether she was crazy. She was asking for trouble and her head wasn’t on straight yet.

  “Actually, I am.” He stepped back toward her. “I already told you how I feel about you that night at my mom and dad’s place. I wasn’t joking. But the last thing I want to do is push you.”

  She was twenty-six years old and she was standing in front of a man, feeling things she’d never felt before. And she wasn’t ready to back down. “What if I want you to push me?” She was
getting herself into so much trouble. She moved toward him. “I’m cautious and scared, it’s true. But Trent, I’m also…a grown woman who has met an amazing man who blurs the lines to every emotion I feel. And I can’t get you off my mind.”

  They were nearly touching as he looked down at her. His jaw tightened and he wrapped his arms around her. “You’re all I think about.” And then he kissed her.

  She sucked in a trembling breath just as his lips claimed hers. Time stopped.

  Then it started back up, like a kaleidoscope of colors colliding.

  His heart thundered just as much as her own and then he pulled back. “That’s why I haven’t kissed you, Lilly. I know that once I start kissing you, I’m not going to want to stop. This isn’t some test for me to see if you’re ready to start dating. I’ve known from pretty early on that I want you. From here on out. So I don’t want to scare you off but I don’t want to mislead you. I lost once but I’m ready to risk everything to win your heart.”

  She was having trouble breathing. His kiss had flipped her world upside down. And now his words. “Oh,” was all that came out of her mouth.

  He smiled and gave a slight shake of his head. “Go inside, Lilly. Sleep well. We have a busy day tomorrow. We’ll take this as slow as you want but I’m playing for keeps. If you decide we’re going anywhere with this relationship.”

  And then he got on his Harley and rode away, leaving her feeling like a knucklehead because she hadn’t been able to form coherent words. And because she hadn’t told him she loved him.

  She couldn’t. She might have just realized she loved him but she wasn’t sure she could handle it.

  Chapter Twelve

  The next week was spent picking out countertops and cabinets. Turned out Jacob and Trent were both beautiful cabinet makers and she hired them to make them. Trent set Jacob to work on them while they continued picking out fixtures and windows and so many other small items needed for a house. Though this was a treehouse, it still had all the comforts of home…just some added charm and quirks. He built her a book nook and they picked out trim for the space. Even though the majority of her sales were in eBooks, she still adored paperbacks and kept a special bunch. She had told him this and he hadn’t forgotten. They chose cedar walls and varnished floors that brought out the light marbled tones in the cedar. By the end of the week, all the choices were made and though they’d had a great time picking it all out, there had been a strain between them because he seemed almost to have moved past telling her he loved her and she wanted him to kiss her again but held her thoughts to herself.